De∙pres∙sion [dih-presh-uh n] – n. A condition of general emotional dejection and
withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any
objective reason.
I’ve wanted to write a post about depression, but I don’t
exactly know how to do it without appearing like I’m throwing myself a pity
party… I’m going to give it a try, however. :)
Talking about depression in this country is almost as taboo
as talking about abortion… it’s one of those things that many don’t understand.
It happens, but people are uncomfortable talking about it… There are also so
many misconceptions that come along with it…It’s no secret that I am a little crazy. I have been crazy
for years. I take crazy meds, see a crazy doc… I’m sure this is something I
will battle the rest of my life.
Looking back, I think my depression began in
my adolescent years, around age 12 or 13 or so… I had the average awkward
teenage angst and that feeling of not fitting-in. Coupled with a genetic
predisposition to crazy (*insert passive-aggressive sarcasm here*) , depression was ultimately inevitable. My first
experience with medication to treat depression came my first year of college
and has been ongoing since then.
I recently was chatting with a friend who has been suffering
from depression more than ever before, due partly to the birth of her first
child. In conversation she mentioned that someone close to her admitted to not
understanding depression and proceeded to say, “I just don’t understand how
somebody so blessed could be so unhappy.” This is an incredibly damaging statement to a
depressed person. We think about this every day. Every day. In our heads, we constantly go over all that we have and
how we are so grateful. We beat ourselves up for feeling this way. But we can’t
help it. Depression is not a choice. It’s not something we ask for. Think of
depression along the lines of high cholesterol… A person with high cholesterol can eat right
and exercise, but sometimes there is simply no answer other than medication.
Medication has saved my life. Do I hate the fact that I am
dependent on medication to make me happy? Of course! But I needed to do
something… People cope with depression differently. My coping mechanism was
food. I would eat to fill a void or calm a fear. It made me feel better. It was
comfort. Then I ballooned to incredibly unhealthy weights during my high
school, college and adult years. The weight made me even more depressed, so I
ate more… it’s a vicious cycle and it only continues.
There are so many medications available right now to treat
depression or other conditions that are associated with depression (anxiety,
obsessive disorders, mood disorders… you get the gist). If you struggle with
depression or any of its close friends (see above), the best advice I can
give you is to not be afraid of medication. You may hear horror stories of
people who didn’t feel like themselves or felt like they were having an out of
body experience… this can happen… but there is an adjustment period to
everything and medications are no different. If one isn’t working for you, find
another. If it’s working, but not enough, speak to your doctor about getting a
different dosage… Most of all, give it time. Rome wasn’t built in a day (I
sound like my mother). But seriously – give it a month to start working and see
how it goes.
While we’re on the subject of doctors… it’s extremely
important that you find a doctor who is skilled in prescribing these
medications. Unfortunately, I have been the victim of two different primary
care physicians who weren’t the most educated on these medications… Ask your
doctor if he is comfortable prescribing them. Ask your doctor what his skill
level is with these kinds of medications… You are not doing yourself any favors
by having a doctor who doesn’t exactly know what he’s doing. Some doctors are
experts at treating diabetes… some may be experts at treating dermatological
conditions… and some are experts at treating depression. Just ask. Start with
your primary care physician and go from there. They may refer you to a
psychiatrist. Seeing a psychiatrist was going to be incredibly expensive with
my insurance plan, so I asked my therapist (a psychologist (aka, doesn’t
prescribe meds)) for a PCP recommendation.
Next, find yourself a therapist. I had to go through a handful
before I found one I liked… research the types of therapists/analysts that
exist. Maybe you would benefit from cognitive therapy? Maybe you would benefit
from a clinical psychologist (like myself)? If you don’t like one, don’t give up. Move on to
the next, but seek help and for God’s sake, BE HONEST. Seeing a therapist and
holding back your true feelings is completely counterproductive. They see crazy
every day. Your story is probably no different. It doesn’t matter if you think
your thoughts are irrational—tell them anyway.
Lastly, if you are a person who is part of a support system
for someone struggling with depression, my best advice to you is to be there…
It’s OK to admit you don’t understand, but be sensitive. Visit this link http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/things-not-to-say-depression
to see ten things you should never say to a depressed person. What should you say to a depressed person?
Keep in mind that people struggling with depression often feel very alone. They
may not be as open or forthcoming with you as you’d think. Even I—yes, bold and
brazen Anne who has a way with words and ain’t afraid to show it—have a hard
time digging in deep with loved ones on the topic of my depression. Being alone
is often the worst for me. It allows me too much time to obsess over being
depressed and dwell on my sadness and wallow in my sorrows… On my worst day if
you asked me, “Do you want me to come over?” I would still say no. I already
feel needy enough, so tearing you away from your daily obligations is not
something I’m willing to demand… If you think a loved one is having a really
terrible time, sometimes it’s better to just do, than to ask. “I’m
coming over and I’m bringing hot chocolate” or “I’m picking you up and we’re going
for a walk” are good things to do because they don’t leave us asking for your
help. Bottom line: just be there.
Have you struggled with depression? Are you close to someone
who is struggling with depression? Feel free to share your stories here too.
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