Déjà vu

So... today is Tuesday, October 2, 2012. My surgery is scheduled a week from today. Today is my first day on the pre-surgery diet. Protein shake for breakfast... Greek Yogurt for a snack… Lunch will probably consist of another protein shake and some sort of approved vegetable…

My old high school friend, Brian, was in town over the weekend. He is a surgeon at a hospital in Pennsylvania. He has down many bariatric surgeries in the past few years and he had me scared to death about the pre-surgery diet. He said surgeons can always tell if a person has or has not followed the pre-surgery diet. And sometimes, they are unable to complete the surgery laparoscopically if the patient’s liver is too large or fatty… in which case they would cut me open like a deer carcass… just what I need.

So needless to say, I am on the diet… the diet that Dr. Northup said I didn’t have to do if I kept my weight now and that Anne said I had to do for a week. But I’m fine.

I am not as anxious as I was a few weeks ago when I last posted. I have come to the conclusion that it will be difficult, but I will succeed. I can do this. Some of you are probably thinking, “Is she trying to convince herself or us?” Probably a little bit of both.

There is some negativity concerning weight loss surgeries that will always be present. An elderly volunteer approached a co-worker of mine and said, “I didn’t realize you had the surgery… and here I thought you had lost the weight all on your own.” Just last night on the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion show, Lauren Manzo came out looking  much more svelte than usual, admitting she had the lap band surgery, which somehow warranted the same negative response from one of the cast mates.

It irritates me to no end that people think surgery is the easy way out. It takes hard work to get here—I had to go through months of appointments and eating better just to prove I could be committed so I could even have the surgery in the first place. Not to mention the years of internal emotional trauma I’ve experienced as a fat person, both before and after the lap band. We lose weight on our own, regardless of what others think. Surgery is nothing more than a tool that aides in the process, but the work is ours and ours alone.

The bottom line is that it’s no one’s business but your own. I had negativity after my last surgery. I will have it after this one. But in my heart, I know myself. And I know that I don’t owe anyone an explanation and I certainly don’t have to defend myself or my decisions to anyone.

What has your response to negativity concerning your weight or surgery been?

Please feel free to share!