Almost there...

Today is my last day of the horribly awful diet I've been on for the past two weeks. Tomorrow I am on clear liquids and must do bowel prep (oh yea). I've shared my diet with people and they all undoubtedly say "Oh that's not bad! At least you're able to have ___________ or __________." I felt the same way when I first read the list of foods available. However, since then I have come to HATE the list of foods available. I must partake in:

4 protein shakes a day, each with 8oz. of Fat-Free Milk
Six snacks a day that may consist of the following:
     Fat Free/Sugar Free Jello or Pudding
     Unsweetened Applesauce
     Unsweetened Oatmeal
     Fat Free/Sugar Free Popcicles or Italian Ice
     1 cup of vegetables (only carrots, celery, tomato, cucumber, lettuce and broccoli)
     98% Fat Free Soups (cream of mushroom, cream of celery, vegetable, etc)

By the third day I was absolutely bored. Let's not forget I have an addiction here! I was hungry, but could not stomach the thought of eating any more of the aforementioned foods. So I didn't. Then around 2:00 p.m. I felt slightly light-headed and dizzy. A call to the doctor's office explained why-- I hadn't been eating enough...

I've had my share of protein shakes over the years, as you can imagine. I once went on that diet called Optifast. That consisted of mostly shakes. My current doctor (Joe Northup of Mercy Healthy Weight Solutions), offers two brands of protein shakes in their office (Unjury and Nectar) and after sampling some, I decided that they were actually the best I had tried so far. But then I drank them four times a day.

I've never been a fan of fake sweetener. When it came to drinking diet soda, my mantra was always that I'd "rather drink water." The shakes are choc full of sucralose/aspartame. I have a sensitive stomach to begin with and large doses of fake sweetener never quite sit well with me, so the shakes just became increasingly too sweet. I was gagging last Wednesday morning when I tried to get down my first shake of the day. So.... I called the office. They were happy (that might be an exaggeration) to let me exchange a tub of one of my powders for a different, less sweet brand they had in the office. So far, so good.

But what I've noticed most about myself through this diet, aside from being stronger than I thought I could be, is that I am still very much a food addict. I gained most of my weight in my teens and early twenties. Although I have gotten myself to this state of morbid obesity, over the last few years, I really was not a poor eater. Those who know me well would tell you that I eat like any normal person. Sometimes I think society has a vision of all fat people eating bonbons and bacon and sitting on the couch all day long. That was never me. Now, I enjoyed my Mountain Dew and Classic Coke, and would often ask for extra salad dressing while dining out, but I felt over the last few years my addiction was somewhat under control... until it reared its ugly head again after I started this diet.

It has me wondering, and maybe you have an answer, will the addiction every go away? Will I always want to overeat, no matter what weight I am? Will I always be tempted by "bad" food? Will my cravings slowly go away? We shall see...